I want to stick my p in your. b.
I skipped work to stalk him.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
