..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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