I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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