i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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