That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
