she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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