Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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