I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Let's get the cat blown out
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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