The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Randomize
