to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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