Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Randomize
