plz talk dirty to me
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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