I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
