How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Randomize
