And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize