why didn't you poke me back
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
