I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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