guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
My bed smells like the plague
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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