This is not my ceiling
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Two words: blizzard sex
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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