just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
