do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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