drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
