We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
This toilet bowl is my home.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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