were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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