If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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