This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
