if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
