i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
