you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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