you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize