I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just got carded by a ten year old.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
