Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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