oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
