My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
