This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
They are going to name an STD after you.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
