I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
