so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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