im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
