we have officially lost it.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
