I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
