i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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