i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
