He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
as a side note pls kill me
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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