I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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