Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
