Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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