So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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