I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I need to sanitize my soul.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize