didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
