Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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