I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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