He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
