my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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