i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
