their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
