Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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