Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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