so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
