RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I still have a little drunk in my system
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
