kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
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