that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
