All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
