Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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