when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
