who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
